ponders on...

what could be done....

i am just too vulnerable..

will this be the end of me?..

=)

Sundays are happy days.

8 oct

the date sets for my MRI scan on the knee..
could it be just a partial or a complete tear..
no one knows till then...


this is making me worried.. as i duno where am i going to be posted to as my knee is taking a long time to recover...


somehow... i hope i stay..

if its your desire, it will be my motivation...

POP

and i thought this day will never come.
thank God =)

my heart still sings..

Tonight I've Fallen and i cant get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
and every night I miss you, I can just look up
and know the stars are holding you holding holding you tonight


Chorus of "Tonight" by FM Static

why...

first of all... from no where.. i had shin splint on both legs from excessive running.. and now.. i busted my knee from jumping off the stupid ramp... how dumb can this be.... are my legs really that weak... if my legs already cant take such impact... do i even wanna think about airborne? or rather... should i even stay in the commandos...what should i do.....

a nice song i recently heard

Your Guardian Angel
by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
[to fade]

ponders on

maybe.. she's really that heartless...
maybe she really doesnt care at all
maybe she's really that mean..
maybe.. she wasnt putting on a show
maybe.. she really wants me to stay away from her
maybe.. I really disgust her...
maybe.. she really has no feeling...


BUT

maybe.. shes not showing me her true colours..




what are the odds...

shagged

keep pressing on Joel.

words from the heart

I want to fall in love with you... over and over again..

days of MC

been pretty bored at home... everyones in camp... or working.. dont ever wanna be sick again... dont wanna waste my time again...

my little prayer

oh God, make me stronger.
not to be vein but to survive in this place
the competitions are just so high that the the weak ones are just gonna be left behind
I don't want to be left out in this game Lord.
As I train Lord, protect me from injuries
I want to be the best.
an edge above the rest.
so that I could shine
in glory of your name.
Amen.

2nd book in

wanted to book in with a hug. but ended up with a slap

First Bookout

im OUT!! after 2 weeks.. geez... it felt like 2 months or smth.. life in there... was just... training and training and more training. but of coz.. there's quite abit or relax time too . probably hell aint reaching me yet. none the less.. i really hope i'll be able to do well and stay in this unit throughout. no pain no gain. then again, daddy God, be with me through this journey and protect me from being injured. Amen. =)

a song for you

"Wait For Me"

You are not alone tonight
Imagine me there by your side
It's so hard to be here so far away from you
I'm counting the days till
I'm finally done
I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one
It feels like forever till I return to you
But it helps me on those lonely nights
It's that one thing that keeps me alive

[Chorus:]
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently

No one else knows the feeling inside
We hang up the phone without saying goodnight
Because it's the sound of your voice that brings me home
It's never been easy to say
But it's easier when I've gone away

[Chorus:]
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

[Bridge:]
What I'd give
What I'd do
Knowing I'm not there for you
Makes it so hard to leave
What I'd give
What I'd do
Anything to get me home to you
And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

here's a link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdlVFqI4rZo

this post is for alvin.

so yea alvin, just click to enlarge the picture. den right-click to save the picture. =)

your early bday poem hahahah

your my bro
you've never been a foe
you know i'll always have your back
and we do almost everything in pairs
8 years of friendship is a real treasure
and u know i'll be there for you when your under pressure
we've been through highs
we've been through lows
you know its you Jeremy
and your like my 2nd family

i love you bro! haha cant wait for your birthday celebration hahah

updates

finally back unto my com! wow crazy time spent in parties and events right after my graduation! haha i had soo lil sleep. so i thank god for mondays! haha its a day to rest. ahah graduation, which was on the 21-05-2009, was full of laughter and memories. =) ill miss TP, my friends, my course, my teachers.. maybe not the atmosphere. haha. 3 years well spent boy i must say haha. i hope we all stays in contact down the years man.

oh yea! and besides the mini parties that made me hang out till 5-6am before returning home, yesterday witness the PLAY! event at sentosa hosted by my church! man it was a huge blast! even my injured toe did not stop me from dancing and jumping when praise and worship started ahha. it was like a rock concert! just the waay i like it.. loud music.. crowed w familiar people.. everyones all jumping and dancing.. its was really smth not to be missed. =D but if u have missed it, well. theres another praise and worship session just like the one in PLAY! coming soon! i think its on the 7 june(sunday) 8pm at the rock audi! so be there! i'll be.. will you? i hope to see you there =)

good to be back

genting was hella fun! besides the point that it was my first time there, i would say the company of friends who went with me made it even more fun! it was the best holiday ever =D this was my first time out traveling with a bunch of friends without a school nor parents! was really havoc to the max! haha sad that holidays just have to end so quickly...

anyway, being the first time there, man everything was a must try! and yea i tried almost everything hahahha but of coz we didnt try the casino all because im the only one whos of legal age... pfft. man the theme park was a lil boring but theres one or two rides the really stood out like the 'space shot', and the 'cyclone', most importantly the go kart! haha so damn fun!

oh yes! food there was expensive.. but SOO SOO GOOOOD =D. but at times it was too salty or too sweet. but as a whole. its simply amazing. haha

im seriously gonna miss the time spent there, where theres nothing to worry about, no NS, no serving, no work, no projects no nothing! just fun =) so next stop, redang? hahaha

a lil accomplishment

swimming was good today. the sun was awesomely hot and there were a lot of girls #shy# sadly i was the only one with perfect eye sight to see them. so i became eyes for my friends. hahahah

anyway.. i finally timed myself...freestyle, 50 metres.. i think i could have been faster.. but hmm. i have to start somewhere. so yea, the best timing currently stands at 38 seconds. hopefully i could go faster than that. the world record is 21.81 seconds. =P lets start by hitting 30 seconds ^^ haha yay!

so it is. 27 may.. napfa test... make or break.. its my choice now... God, give me strength to go through all this....

look what you've done...

3 slaps, 2 bites, 1 kick

rest

yes! the week's coming to an end! ive soo many events recently that man, im hardly sleeping. and thank god im not falling sick again! Amen =)

been practising really hard almost everyday jamming with my band on a guitar solo, which ive never done before but yea! i did it. it may be simple solo but it was a good accomplishment. hahah

been doing alot of recordings too! and man! they are really raw and it shud NEVER be published hahah they are stretching my vocals so that i may be a singer/guitarist for the band. =D i really thank god for such opportunities. =)

today had a jamming session for 4 hours, was intense. as everyone was in their own world. a lil chaotic but we managed to record smth out. so dead beat right now coz i was working at a banquet yesterday for the whole day and i met up with jem at abt 10pm and we practised for this jamming session till nearly 5am last night. really tired..

after all that jam, haah i met up w joey and afew other CG mates to play ball at TP. and yea! it was fun! and wow joey really has patience to teach =) totally awesome. more events to come! like the combine CG tommorrow! and more parties on sat -.- im so spending my time having so much fun before i enter army hahaha just trusting god that all this fun are healthy fun =) i can never be too careful, thats why i have god to protect me even before things happens he will change it for good =)

i can do all things through chrits who strengthens me =D

movie and ramen

well well well, considered my day blessed. went out w a bunch of frens from church and boy ever since last night having dinner with paul at our table. i think we got a lil more numb skulled. and i was suppose to act like my age. like seriously.. i doubt these few days is really helping me in any way. hahaha but hey! whhy act! i just wanna be myself. you only get to be 21 once! so yea. just live it man. and gosh its been soo long since i wore a pair of normal jeans. it really felt uncomfortable and i was caught by ying ying, checking myself out >.< like seriously im so damn uncomfortable with the jeans. i'd probably burn it, or since im not allow to burn it, not wear it anymore. unless my mum decides to wash my other jeans. meh.. whatever.

the movie was good. but yea gambit fight scene was a lil too short and they made him a lil uncool. the whole wolverine(jimmy) saw sabertooth(victor) and totally ignored what gambit said and shuts him up by blowing an elbow to his face thing. gee. sad. none the less his still cool hahha.

now dinner! the ramen was good! thanks ran for introducing the place. and all the dragon tales we talked about were simply amazing. hahaha i had fun. =)

weird sleeping patterns

i cant sleep. all a sudden im all awake.. 4am today. =/ i couldnt go back to sleep and i was all sweaty. the dreams were so weird and so tiring to the mind. its as though i still need to think while i sleep. i have to think of what needs to be added into the dream. what kind of dream is that? no it wasnt a dream about you. the dream was like planning for an adventure camp all by myself. with all the paper work and the sorting of logistics. what kind of dream is that. its so weird. i actually wake up itchy and sweaty. lord. i curse this unhealthy sleep and the heat of the night. i pray for more cooling nights to come. i really cant take it.. let this be the last night such things happen.. i wan to dream, not to think of what i should dream. its draining.

the chinese doctor

awesome! today was my first time to the chinese doctor. haha heard stories abt how painful they would press on your bruises so i was pretty much geared for the pain. haha so yea i went to check on my hand and feet. and when it was my turn. he asked me what are u here for? so i started pointing out my bruises and pain at my feet. and. as he is abt to start his "work" i hold my breath. AND! its no pain at all -.- hahah its super confortable hahaha and now im all wrapped up. only allowed to removed it tmr night. to be honest, the medicine init is so hot! and its really hard to type anything hahah but it was a fun experience. haha fun coz my dad checked too and he was yellin away. hahahaha uber funny. haha i shall find the picture and upload it. yay!

27apr!

wooo! it my actual day and it was awesome day! first time in my life! i received soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many greetings on my phone and FACEBOOK hahahahahhahahahaha damn cool i had to reply with that NEW INJURED LEFT PALM I GOT DURING MY PARTY! so awesome! its soo cool, it slows down my typing speed by like half or even more! super awesome and today i spend it with 2 brothers! sean and ranford!

was just so random, like i just feel like cutting my hair and ranford wanted to cut his too and the next moment we got our hair done! (really bro your hair looks different ) hahaha he claims it looks the same. =( but mine.. maybe just notused to it hahaha can afford to go back again. IF I GOT HAIR THE NEXT TIME ROUND!! hahahha

and after cutting our hair, we went to bras basah to meet sean to get books but we failed so instead we looked at guitars and WOO! ranford found his new love! haha man i also want one hahahhahaha its so small and cute! i can barely play properly with it! thats how awesome itis!! its a kids classical guitar hahah uber cool. i can always accompany u back there to get it ran! just call! =D

dinner was great, i had astons again. =P simply, awesome. haha

wow. i just bombed so much. hahaha but today was fun =) but, the guitar hero from my hse is gone.......... they, taken it away ... i canot practise anymore... oh well. i better rest my hands b4 army takes me away hahhaa

LRT

lol yesterday was my first time taking the LRT! man i felt like a cheapo roller coaster sia. hahaha anyway, i was accompanied by a friend and we went one whole round and she pointed out afew place which were great spots to take photos!!

man im soooo gonna go there one day to take nice shots of old train tracks and hopefully, there's trains! haha

i think i'll really name the album "the other side of singapore" cause it looks damn foreign to me hahaha so yea! cant wait to take photos soon. as soon as i recover from this flu, cough, sorethroat and aches. hahaha

unstability

ever since that letter came, time seems so precious. as though, after that day, i'll never be able to do anything ever again. moreover, i've been turning down so many events because it all happening after that date. the feeling is really bad. every morning, im one day closer to it. every morning there's no longer that smile on my face. every morning, i fear every morning.

ive just turn down an offer to perform on stage a 25 min bbox performance just because its after that date. guess im running dry on the word and just starting to look back at myself. how empty, how dark, how dry i am without god. well, at least everyday ive something to do for now. planning for events (birthdays), dance, practise my guitar, bbox. maybe i spending so much time that i forgot to start my day right again. yes i'll start every morning with a word of prayer =)

because without God, we cannot without me, God will not

hmm a new view to music

well, to be honest. my music has always been sad, emo, suicidal, anger, death, so on. guess it really takes another person who has another love of music to open my eyes that i should also appreciate songs that are happy, lively, love songs.

because ive always been listening to songs for tunes, not lyrics. so, maybe, i should start being aware of the lyrics. bcoz hearing more sad only means u'd be sad all the time. so yup. thanks elizabeth!! wont entirely change my music.but ill just include it as a genre ill appreciate. hahah

the night out at caleb's

it was my first ever overnight baking. haha pretty fun! but i can agree 4 is a lil too many hands unless we really baked some cookies and muffins along with the cake all at the same time hahahaha

here's our master piece~!

the mango cheesecake!

haha looks pretty good i must say ^^

other than baking that cake, i also learned to free hand draw from caleb and haha, didnt go too well but practise makes perfect =D.

and yea we didnot sleep at all.
just chatted till dawn and played halo3! it was pretty fun i must say hahah

hope to have more fun with you guys soon =D

till im free again, 2 years later..

Enlistment Notice(full-time/operationally ready national service)
You are hereby required under Section 10 of Enlistment Act(Cap 93),
to report for enlistment on
12 June 2009(Fri) 8am
to
Special Operation Tactics Centre (SOTAC)

miracles do happen

Lord, it it because i see your Grace

You see my faith.

and the hearts desire of the the righteous shall be granted.

Amen.

free hand drawing!

after much impressive drawings done by caleb, ive decided to give it a try too ^^

and this is what ive got!


lol so much for the first time, dont really know why i drew is at the side of the paper either^^ lol

aww man 1 year..

always been successful in hacking into this dumb private wow server.
what have i done?
maybe i was too careless this time..
yes, maybe my mistake was too noticeable.

this is what i have to face
a 1 year ban from the game.

sigh.....


ok time to start playing a new private server ^^ WOOO!

lol

ok! today was fun =)..

man i just love sundays.. spending time with god is just awesome =D

and! woo. guess what, i think im starting to break away from the awkward feeling that im having towards her =)


i think she'd be a fun friend to hang around with once i really get to know her more.


till then... =D


oh yea! i realised i havent touched my camera for the longest time.. im getting rusty again =(

hope someones free to go take photos with me someday....

awwww.. =$

and to think that this will not happen to me in church.
it did.

did it ever occur to you before that you just cant seem to open your mouth to talk to her?. yea. that girl that gets you all tongue-tight. and when you are trying so hard to find a topic to talk about for the very first time, your mind starts to go blank and you feel so helpless just looking right at her smiling and she, smiling back. WHICH made you blushed! OOOHH MAN.. this is embarrassing. =$

i have got to learn how to talk to a good looking girl somehow. JOEL! remember, you are a friendly person. so talk! just treat her like the rest.. ok?. gosh.. i do talk to good looking girls what...!!

guess she falls into that category that ive got no guts to be friendly. but i guess, its really time to change.

got to be more friendly and talk to her the next time. if there's a next time. haha

bored

sitting here at my comfort seat
contemplating on the very next beat
singing unto the rhythm which i create
and played the guitar without delay

time after time the day goes by
nothing new is coming and I'm almost dry
wish i have the inspiration to carry on
but what i really need is the motivation to get it on

yea i'll make something out soon. because im not doing this for myself, im doing this for Jesus. Amen =)

its over!

exams are over!

simply means im done with this 3 years of poly!

happy and sad.

but finally, i can concentrate on teaching beatbox from now on =) till i enter NS of coz. haha what more could i do. really hope i do take any supp papers. and get good grades for this final sem.. really wanna study in a local university.

u knw u hear me here =) and i knw u will grant it for me =) Amen

19 FEB 2009

just 1 day away from the start of my final exams in TP!

really excited, even though i have not prepared much for it. but im sure God will help me to rmb everything that ive covered and spit it out all on the correct papers to get the wonderful marks i desire haha

anyway, just i just went for a Vocational Assessment at Hendon Camp(COMMANDO!!!!)
i think i went quite well. but daddy God will still hold me final decision cause the doors that our Daddy God opens for us, no man can close it =) Amen.

the whole assessment was estimated to start at 8am to 6pm. but i ended mine at 3pm ^^ its alrdy a miracle here from God that he shorten the time wasted at the camp and allowed me to come back home with time to revise for my papers =)

shall not let him down now. i shall begin revising!

hey!

if you are a beatboxer, rapper or anyone who is able to make special effects with you mouth. well, im looking for you!

requirements: a believer, have to be in NCC(new creation church) for the past 6 months and willing to perform on stage. =)

please drop me a message at my facebook(got to have an account first though).

more details will be given upon replies.

(if you know any friends who is able to do any of the above stated, tell let them know too)

thank you!

valentines'

happy valentines sweet =)


yea ill be spending it, alone yet again.


have fun with your new love.

quality alone time =)

set off from home at about 10am in the morning.

went to clarke quey and rooted myself around there for quite sometime before moving on all the way to suntec.

traveled by foot,took a few photos here and there.

but it was more of a time to chill, on my own, to take a breather.

school work's been pretty tough, plus the coming vocation assessment for me and to apply for a university(im trying NTU... but.. pfft, dont even know which course i should take)soo many things running through my head.. but i wouldnt say im stress =) just needed time alone(probably im still upset about my napfa.which was ytd! sigh. dumb shuttle run.. if not for that, i'd gotten silver!!)

anyway....

time well spent i'd say..=D really sat myself down and talked to God while im walking around, listening to my songs and taking photos. even treated myself to a swensens lunch! =P alone though. but it was a good experience.=)

somehow.. i wish ill never do this again.. but then again. it seems a lil fun =) the peace and quiet and to roam wherever you want to without having to compromise with anyone. pretty cool. ive got a feeling, ill do it soon again =P

what a day.

school began at 0830 for me today. and it started off with a "interview"

well im graded according to how i react and make myself more outstanding than the others whos in the same group as me.

the more u shine, the better grade u get, simple.

well it was all good =)

think ill do ok i guess. ahha

and i managed to finish my other project in a matter of 2 hours! thanks to friends around! =D


now, all tired. thinking about tmr....

NAPFA!!!!!


-gulp-


it will take God for me to do well.

and im sure he will make me do well

=)

=(

a song so short, yet packed with so much emotions.
the song lyrics is Elizabeth's suicide note found next to her body.


sad..

the rubix cube

ARH YES!! i finally solved my first rubix cube!.

took me a total of 10 hours though -.-

but at least i finally understand how it is being done =D

and also ive been spending much time watching "mind your language"

an old classic comedy i'd say =D


back to work i think haha

Post CNY

happy and all..

but back to work dudes!!

come to think about it..

all projects due next week!!!

napfa this friday....-gulp-

and im graduating in 3 weeks!!


time to get serious or should i take it easy?

haha i'll do...... both =)

CNY service

WOOT GOD WAS THERE!

my performance was great!

the musical was better!

and the message by pastor MARK was the best part!! it was an awesome service!!

and im glad my 2 best buds for 8 years attended the service =)

thank you jeremy and marcus for attending the service =DD

the night out after service was awesome too. it was indeed a good time where we update one another with our progress in life hahaha. u guys are the best!

and dont worry!..the right love will find our way someday!! hahahahha

ROCK LEGENDS!

woo this new application i bumped into just yesterday us hella fun!

ROCK LEGENDS!

maybe because im bored. blah...

doing what i can to waste time i guess..

woo! CNY

yay! chinese new year's around the corner!!

many things to do!

besides the traditional house visiting and stuff i have..

-take more photos
-finish my projects
-perform in front of 20,000 people
-drive around
-study for exams
-train for NS


maybe. ill have time to blog abt stuffs again =)

oh! this is awesome! i am currently instructing vocal percussion lessons at this place called Replugged Music .

really really hope people would sign up and learn a thing or 2 about beatbox =)

God, your so awesome! my path just gets brighter and brighter as you lead me to where i should be =)

tagged.. -.-

ok.. im tagged to do this... so here it goess..

Rules must be followed:
Each blogger must post this rules.
Each blogger must start with ten random facts about themselves.
Bloggers that are tagged need to write about their own blog, ten things and post this rules.
Don't forget to leave them comments telling them they have been tagged and are to read your blog.

10 Random Facts about me.

1. I'm a christian
2. I'm heavily involved in church events
3. I want a car.
4. I beatbox
5. I'm single
6. I dont really like to play virtual games
7. I'm chinese
8. I need to exercise
9. I getting bored of this tagged thing already
10.I think the person who tagged me this is really bored

1. Who's the person that tagged you?
Luqman

2. Relationship between you and him?
classmate since 2007

3. Three impressions of him?
#1/ gay
#2/ ghey
#3/ did i mentioned his like really cool?.. no i did not.


4. If he becomes your enemy, you will?
nope. his still a friend

5. What will you say to the person you like very much?
your everything i could well ask and wish for

6. Characteristic i like about myself?
blur

7. Characteristic i hate about myself?
mood swings

8. For the person whom you hate, you say?
oh. erm.. hi?

9. What do people feel about you?
i duno.. im retarded?

10. Your crush?
i have a crush?

11. Pass this to 10 people:
1. Jeremy
2. Nikki
3. Xin Er
4. Joey
5. Aaron
6. Caline
7. Stephanie
8. Priscilla
9. Joan
10. OGY

12. If 5 & 7 were together?
LOL! that be funny

13. who does 5 like?
haha. secret

14. What colour does 9 like?
green

15. Say something about 8?
My elder sister! hope ur read this!

16. Who is 2?
my secondary school friend =)

17. Talk about 3.
she's a very sweet girl

18. Who is 10's best friend?
uh.. i duno

19. Who's the sexiest among all 10?
JEREMY

20. What colour does 4 like?
uh red?

21. Is 4 single?
yea he should be

22. Your relationship with 1.
my best friend =)

23. Are 5 & 6 best friends?
They hardly know each other.

24. 9's surname?
Gan

25. 7's nickname?
COW

26. Say something to 8.
said something already

27. Say something to help 9.
have fun =)

28. Who do i admire?
God

29. Where does 1 live?
secret

30. 10 of them know who you like?
uh.. guess so? since its no one haha

31. Say something to 6 when you see her.
hey babe! how are u!! missed u so much =D

32. 10's spouse?
uh. i duno. his a friend of my best friend

EPS

TP open house, 8 Jan - 10 Jan
its a time where the public gets a chance to take a look at the the school's facilities and the courses available in the different schools.

it was also a time where a few chosen projects are put up on display for the public to view. and in this part of the section, its called, Engineering Project Show(EPS).

so, what you know, my group was one of the 80 projects, out of the 523, to be showcased to the public! (yays and boos)

it started on a serious note as, only the top 15% of the projects are shown, meaning my project was in the top 15%! cool and awkward at the same time. but things got really bored as only a handful came to view our projects. and it wasn't the kind that sticks around and asks questions about your project, but the ones that simply looks and walks away. really boring.

and oh yes! did i mention we had to wear formal with a tie for these 3 days? (probably that could be one of the many reasons why no one wants to come near our show as it seemed a little too serious) but anyway, on the last day, the students mending the projects that was shown at the frontline of the school, started to get really really bored and we started to drag random people into the show! giving them nonsensical tours and laughing our way as one just guides the people like a tour guide. really awesome of him, at the same time, really rude. rude because he kindda makes fun of all other projects that were showcased in the area. but seriously, it was still fun. =D

well, it was quite an experience. now, i have to catch up with my academic work. (haven attended classes for 2 weeks!)

fun's over. time to be serious.

5 weeks to graduation. and counting down.

pictures of 2008

these will all be left in my memory...

2009!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ONE AND ALL!!!

ITS A YEAR OF FAVOUR!!

AND I'LL RECEIVED ALL THE GOODNESS IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

AMEN!